i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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