Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
