don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
