We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
