Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
