Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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