I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
