Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
