You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
