Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
