Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
