I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
