You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Enjoy the penises
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
