just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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