Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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