I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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