Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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