I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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