Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
