i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I cut my penus on the lid.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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