He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
