Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
