I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
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He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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