I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
