yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
