I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
