So drunk its hurt
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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