you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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