Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
