You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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