is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
