Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
