I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
