everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
