Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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