You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
