hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
