This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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