Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
No subtext here. People are naked.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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