if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
