Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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