I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
