Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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