how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
