Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
