It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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