your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
