I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
well you can't waste a boner
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
