Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's just like the Real World with babies
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
