i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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