We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am naked and annoyed.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
