Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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