I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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