My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
third nipple confirmed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
