she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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