How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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