how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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