I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
