He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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