i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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