This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
