I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize