Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
