bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
