This girl is more easily done than said...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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