I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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