I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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