he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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