So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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