I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize