don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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