Jerry, you need to find god
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
